You're so nebulous sometimes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
