I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
