he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
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Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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