It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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