Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
