fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize