did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
