Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize