The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
