How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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