My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Im part way to drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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