We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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