i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
