I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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