shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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