know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I love having hate sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
