Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
