I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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