Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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