I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
