you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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