my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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