fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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