This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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