the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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