Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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