Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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