Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
