Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
