Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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