i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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