U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Your tits are I can't wait for
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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