I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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