Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
