haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's not a walk of shame if you run
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize