called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
