I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I fill condoms, not promises.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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