My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
