nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
