Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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