Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
