so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
