I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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