ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
