Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
