I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
