you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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