Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
