he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
