There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
