This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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