Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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