Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
