I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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