Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
