1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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