Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
