Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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