Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
