Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
