So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
