whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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