I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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