Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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