Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
