More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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