how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
