you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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