Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
