I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
