my mouth tastes like poor choices
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
