is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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