Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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