So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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