she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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