you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
